


Do You Even Skate?

by Marvel_My_Savior



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, F/M, Gay Panic, Help, How Do I Tag, M/M, Texting, Useless Lesbians
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-01
Updated: 2019-07-19
Packaged: 2020-06-02 05:56:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19435300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marvel_My_Savior/pseuds/Marvel_My_Savior
Summary: Just imagine the Avengers as gen z teenagers in group chats and it gets wild





	1. Intro

**Author's Note:**

> Names and Some Titles of this work were taken from other fics such as the skate fast eat ass universe

Here, have some background information

Seniors:  
StarSpangledThot- Steve Rogers  
RichDaddy- Tony Stark  
RawrDinothor- Thor Odinson  
ClitBaton- Clint Barton  
IfLooksCouldKill- Natasha Romanoff  
JollyGreenGiant- Bruce Banner  
ILostSevenPounds- Bucky Barnes  
CawCawBich- Sam Wilson  
HoesMad- Valkyrie  
IllKickMyOwnAss- Carol Danvers

Juniors:  
ThatBitchOverThere- Loki Odinson  
SonicIsMyBitch- Pietro Maximoff  
SabrinaTeenageWitch- Wanda Maximoff  
DaddyLangLegs- Scott Lang  
YerAWizard- Stephen Strange  
WaspUp- Hope Van Dyne

Sophomores:  
SmartestAss- Shuri  
ScienceBaby- Peter Parker  
525600Questions- NedLeeds  
LostMyFucksToGive- MJ (Michelle Jones)

Other:  
WelcomeToHela- Hela Odinson

Ships:  
Steve x Tony  
Thor x Bruce  
Bucky x Sam  
Pietro x Clint  
Natasha x Wanda  
Carol x Valkyrie  
Scott x Hope  
Peter x MJ

Pre-Established Ships:  
Thor x Bruce  
Scott x Hope  
Bucky x Sam


	2. Daddy Reeves?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there is no proof reading sooo

Do You Even Skate  
Members: Clit Baton, IfLooksCouldKIll, ILostSevenPounds, CawCawBich

3:14am  
ClitBaton: that akotaco moment when your mom walks in on you investing 70% of your paycheck into your robin hood stonks

IfLooksCouldKIll: no

ClitBaton: but but but

IfLooksCouldKill: no

ClitBaton: bitch

ILostSevenPounds: oh fuck oh shit

IfLooksCouldKIll: tf did you just say to me

ClitBaton: ...im sorry

ILostSevenPounds: guys don't come to school tomorrow Nat's gonna commit murder

ClitBaton: GASP JUDIS

CawCawBich: could y'all

CawCawBich: dummy thicc thots

CawCawBich: shut the fuck up

CawCawBich: and go the fuck to sleep

ILostSevenPounds: you're asking too much of us

IfLooksCouldKill: at least he called us dummy thicc

ILostSevenPounds: im supposed to be the only dummy thicc in your life tho

CawCawBich: too bad

ILostSevenPounds: i'd break up with you if I could

ClitBaton: no you wouldn't

ILostSevenPounds: stfu clitoris 

Big Bitch Energy  
Members: ThatBitchOverThere, SonicIsMyBitch, SabrinaTeenageWitch, DaddyLangLegs, YerAWizard

3:45am  
ThatBitchOverThere: Keanu Reeves could rail me no cap

SabrinaTeenageWitch: It's too late for this shit

SonicIsMyBitch: sis you just walked into my room said Natasha is a daddy and then walked out

SabrinaTeenageWitch: and your point? Is?? 

ThatBitchOverThere: so i can't talk about Keanu 

ThatBitchOverThere: but yet you can talk about Natasha Romanoff??

SabrinaTeenageWitch: yes she could kill me and I'd say thank you

SonicIsMyBitch: if you dead then how 

SabrinaTeenageWitch: no one asked you 

ThatBitchOverThere: my life is a fucking nightmare

DaddyLangLegs: CaUsE wE'rE dElTa AiRlInEs AnD LiFe Is A fUcKiNg nIgHtMaRe

SonicIsMyBitch: look who decided to show up

DaddyLangLegs: i need my beauty sleep

SabrinaTeenageWitch: really?? Cause it ain't working really well

SonicIsMyBitch: Oh my god you fucking killed him 

ThatBitchOverThere: wanda out here killing with no permit

YerAWizard: so no one sleeps then? Just me? 

SabrinaTeenageWitch: sleep is for the weak 

YerAWizard: that explains so much about your mental state 

SabrinaTeenageWitch: yeah i have severe anxiety and depression lmao

ThatBitchOverThere: adding lmao doesn't make it any less sad 

SabrinaTeenageWitch: try me hoe

DaddyLangLegs: He's more of a slut

YeeAWizard: if y'all don't sleep I'm not paying for drinks in the morning

DaddyLangLegs: everyone shut the fuck up

This House Is A Fucking Nightmare  
Members: RawrDinothor, JollyGreenGiant, ThatBitchOverThere, WelcomeToHela

4:06am  
ThatBitchOverThere: which one of you 

ThatBitchOverThere: fake ass hoes

ThatBitchOverThere: DRANK MY GODDAMN TEA

RawrDinothor: brother calm down it is just tea

ThatBitchOverThere: STFU THOR IT WAS PROBABLY YOUR NERD BOY TOY

JollyGreenGiant: ok first of all why am I now apart of this

JollyGreenGiant: second of all I don't live there so why tf am I even in this chat

RawrDinothor: you're here more than your own house brucie that's why

JollyGreenGiant: ah you right 

RawrDinothor: <3 

ThatBitchOverThere: im gonna puke 

ThatBitchOverThere: ANYWAY TEA 

WelcomeToHela: jesus fuck Loki I drank your dumbass tea

WelcomeToHela: it was fucking disgusting like your ugly ass

ThatBitchOverThere: HOW DARE YOU WHORE

JollyGreenGiant: why

WelcomeToHela: GO GET YOUR SUGAR DADDY TO BUY YOU SOME MORE

ThatBitchOverThere: FUCK YOU

ThatBitchOverThere: ILL SEE YOU IN HELL

WelcomeToHela: YOU TELL THEM WHO SENT YOU

RawrDinothor: sometimes I think I'm adopted

WelcomeToHela: i wish

RawrDinothor: o:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry you had to read that bro but like read more?


	3. Thotiana

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no proof reading we die like men here

Do You Even Skate  
Members: ClitBaton, IfLooksCouldKill, ILostSevenPounds, CawCawBich

6:21am  
CawCawBich: RISE AND SHINE DUMB ASSES  
ClitBaton: fuk u  
CawCawBich: you wish  
ILostSevenPounds: you hitting on my man?! huh clit?!  
IfLooksCouldKill: ooo barton's in trouble  
ClitBaton: i didn't want this  
ILostSevenPounds: istg clit  
ClitBaton: Sam come get your bitch he's tripping  
CawCawBich: oml why tho  
IfLooksCouldKill: im picking you up clit  
IfLooksCouldKill: *clint  
CawCawBich: hoe don't even act like that was an accident  
ILostSevenPounds: ya also need me  
IfLooksCouldKill: bucket i asked if you were ready like 10 minutes ago and you were still in bed  
ILostSevenPounds: well i'm ready now thotiana  
CawCawBich: this is the most salty timeline

Big Bitch Energy  
Members: ThatBitchOverThere, SonicIsMyBitch, SabrinaTeenageWitch, DaddyLangLegs, YerAWizard

6:35am  
DaddyLangLegs: i was promised coffee  
ThatBitchOverThere: cause someone like you needs it  
DaddyLangLegs: sarcasm king as always  
ThatBitchOverThere: bold of you to assume im not the fucking queen  
SonicIsMyBitch: and i oop  
YerAWizard: if you want me to pay im not waiting 20 goddamn minutes again  
SonicIsMyBitch: awww but we had fun trying to catch that possum  
YerAWizard: Remind me again why tf we friends again  
ThatBitchOverThere: cause freshman year is weird as fuck  
YerAWizard: damn you right  
ThatBitchOverThere: ofc i am harry potter  
ThatBitchOverThere: wait someones missing  
DaddyLangLegs: our local lesbian is missing  
YerAWizard: wHERE IS SHE  
YerAWizard: where is our LeSbIaN  
SabrinaTeenageWitch: i waS SUMMoned from hell  
SonicIsMyBitch: she was being late and still getting ready in the bathroom smh  
SabrinaTeenageWitch: uhh thot think again you spent 10 minutes just singing the crazy frog song on repeat and saying you were fast as lighting in the bathroom  
SonicIsMyBitch: wOW so you just gonna expose me like that  
DaddyLangLegs: this was wild from start to end  
YerAWizard: get in the damn car Scotch tape I been here for like 5 minutes

Edgy Bitter And Tired Nerds  
Members: RichDaddy, JollyGreenGiant, SmartestAss

6:53am  
RichDaddy: guys come to Walmart with me after school  
SmartestAss: sorry stank I got better ways to spend my time  
RichDaddy: ouch :(  
JollyGreenGiant: wait why  
RichDaddy: i blew up my microwave for s c i e n c e  
JollyGreenGiant: not surprised at all so go off ig  
SmartestAss: how are you the smartest one here  
RichDaddy: i honestly have no idea  
JollyGreenGiant: yeah no still can't believe Steve fell for that  
RichDaddy: suck my wENIS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the entire time I wrote this I was listening to a meme playlist on Spotify


	4. King Of Lesbians

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's really gay up in here today

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so I like finally updated this again and also I'm dumb so I randomly that carol and valkyrie are a pre-established couple as well.

Let's Go Lesbians  
Members: RawrDinothor, HoesMad, IllKickMyOwnAss, IfLooksCouldKill

7:20am  
RawrDinothor: Lesbians!?  
HoesMad: King Of Lesbians?!  
IllKickMyOwnAss: I'm dating a clown  
HoesMad: oh go fuck yourself  
IllKickMyOwnAss: cOWARD fuck me yourself  
HoesMad: i alrEADY HAVE  
RawrDinothor: oh  
IfLooksCouldKill: I didn't need to see that  
RawrDinothor: I finally understand why bruce wants to drink bleach  
IllKickMyOwnAss: concern???  
RawrDinothor: anyway  
RawrDinothor: My brother has provided me with another lesbian to add  
HoesMad: show me the G A Y  
IllKickMyOwnAss: ur mom gay  
HoesMad: and im the clown??  
*RawrDinothor added SabrinaTeenageWitch*  
SabrinaTeenageWitch: gUESS WHOSE HOME MOTHERFUCKERS  
IllKickMyOwnAss: WHY DO YOU HAVE MY PHONE  
SabrinaTeenageWitch: BECAUSE FUCK YOU THATS WHY  
SabrinaTeenageWitch: sorry my brother Pietro took my phone  
SabrinaTeenageWitch: not that I wouldn't have done that anyway  
IfLooksCouldKill: Pietro from track? Clint could probably get like a boner just thinking of him  
SabrinaTeenageWitch: who tf... didn't need to know that  
IfLooksCouldKill: My best friend regrettably, I'm Natasha Romanoff, not at your service  
HoesMad: she just stopped responding??

Big Bitch Energy  
Members: ThatBitchOverThere, SonicIsMyBitch, SabrinaTeenageWitch, DaddyLangLegs, YerAWizard

7:28am  
SabrinaTeenageWitch: y'all I AM FUCKED HELP ME  
ThatBitchOverThere: tea??  
SonicIsMyBitch: she got put in a lesbian gc and Natasha is in there  
ThatBitchOverThere: oh yeah that was my doing  
SabrinaTeenageWitch: i'll kill you  
SabrinaTeenageWitch: then I'll off myself as well  
ThatBitchOverThere: ur just jealous cause my makeup game is better than yours  
YerAWizard: bitch what  
YerAWizard: she wasn't even talking about that???  
SonicIsMyBitch: you're like a boomer in a teens body  
SabrinaTeenageWitch: i wanna kashoot myself  
ThatBitchOverThere: coward  
ThatBitchOverThere: bungee jump without a rope  
DaddyLangLegs: sip some chlorine  
SonicIsMyBitch: commit neck rope  
YerAWizard: jesus fuck what is wrong with you people  
DaddyLangLegs: many many things  
SonicIsMyBitch: including but not limited to, our will to live  
SabrinaTeenageWitch: I'm gonna sister suicide after I embarrass myself in front of Natasha Romanoff  
ThatBitchOverThere: damn that's rough sis  
SabrinaTeenageWitch: i know sis  
DaddyLangLegs: who's ready for sister school  
SonicIsMyBitch: not this sis  
YerAWizard: I hate you all  
SabrinaTeenageWitch: hey sisters  
DaddyLangLegs: what sis  
SabrinaTeenageWitch: we need to stop saying sis  
YerAWizard: I agree my brain cells can't take any more damage  
SabrinaTeenageWitch: speaking of brain damage  
SabrinaTeenageWitch: hey Pietro  
SonicIsMyBitch: what up hoe  
SabrinaTeenageWitch: you know some guy named Clint?  
SonicIsMyBitch: Clint Barton yeah made like a dream in my opinion  
SonicIsMyBitch: he can like get it  
SonicIsMyBitch: and by it I mean this dick  
ThatBitchOverThere: i never wanna have to read that ever again  
SabrinaTeenageWitch: you and me both bitch  
SabrinaTeenageWitch: anyway Natasha says he could like get a boner just thinking of you  
ThatBitchOverThere: OMFG TEA  
SonicIsMyBitch: he wHAT  
SabrinaTeenageWitch: bye bitches  
SonicIsMyBitch: WAIT COME BACK

Do You Even Skate  
Members: ClitBaton, IfLooksCouldKill, ILostSevenPounds, CawCawBich

7:57am  
IfLooksCouldKill: AYYY MOTHERFUCKERS GUESS WHAT  
ILostSevenPounds: BROOOO WHAT  
ClitBaton: IMMA YELL TOO  
CawCawBich: THIS IS WHY YOURE SINGLE  
IfLooksCouldKill: damn watch it bird boi  
ILostSevenPounds: it's ok I already fucked your mom  
ClitBaton: no u  
ILostSevenPounds: oh shit  
CawCawBich: doesn't your mom smoke grass  
ClitBaton: skate fast  
IfLooksCouldKill: stfu  
ILostSevenPounds: she's mad cause she can't skate fast  
ILostSevenPounds: and yeah she does  
IfLooksCouldKill: go fuck yourself  
ILostSevenPounds: I would but it's not as fun as when sam does it  
CawCawBitch: BUCKY YOU CANT JUST  
ClitBaton: i just died  
ILostSevenPounds: I mean same  
CawCawBich: wasn't nat gonna tell us something??  
ClitBaton: yea  
ILostSevenPounds: spill the tea what happened  
IfLooksCouldKill: Wanda Maximoff got added to the lesbian group chat  
ClitBaton: aren't you like in love with her  
IfLooksCouldKill: aCtUaLlY I pReFeR tHe TeRm iNfAtUaTeD I haven't even talked to her just seen her around  
IfLooksCouldKill: also stop being a hypocrite  
CawCawBich: i remember you distinctly saying that Pietro Maximoff could top you anytime  
ClitBaton: I came out here to have fun and Im honestly feeling so attacked rn  
IfLooksCouldKill: I didn't even know they were twins  
ILostSevenPounds: how?? they have the same last name and are like always around each other  
CawCawBich: she's a dumb ass sometimes bucky  
IfLooksCouldKill: first off I'll kill you wilson  
IfLooksCouldKill: second off yeah my ass is dumb  
IfLooksCouldKill: dummy thicc  
ClitBaton: A queen I stan  
IfLooksCouldKill: thanks I try

**Author's Note:**

> Well now you can move on to this trainwreck that I call a story


End file.
